June 25, 2015 / Maisie Smith
“I’m sorry,” said the voice on the other line. “The beer koozies accidentally shipped to Iceland.” I bolted upright in bed, momentarily stunned that I was in a dark bedroom rather than on the phone in my work cubicle. Heart racing, I plopped back on my pillow […]
read full articleJune 4, 2015 / Maisie Smith
I popped the cherry in my mouth, fully expecting to bite down on a pit. Instead, a rush of indescribable sweetness hit my tongue. I grabbed another, chomping it down faster than you could say, “What the hell is this?” And then another. Suddenly, I morphed into Gollum, protecting the tray full of cherries like […]
read full articleApril 23, 2015 / Maisie Smith
“Our budget is a quarter,” they repeated firmly. I was working for an ad agency and helping a client prepare for an upcoming trade show where they would drop logoed pens into the plastic bags of passersby. Their budget was minuscule, their expectations gargantuan. “How about a pen that people will actually use?” I retorted, […]
read full articleApril 2, 2015 / Maisie Smith
“I just want to be happy.” They stared back at me, then sideways at each other and then down at their legal pads to make a few scribbling notes. “That’s it?” one of them asked. “Yes. My goal is to be happy.” More scribbling. That was the moment I lost the crown. Judges don’t like happy. […]
read full articleMarch 12, 2015 / Maisie Smith
“She’ll be sticking her head in the oven by age 55.” “Maybe she’ll get hit by a FedEx truck.” “Fuck her… she does drugs.” “Go fuck a gardener or something, bitch.” These were just some of the remarks I read when a famous blogger reached out to online friends regarding a comment on one of […]
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