Stop Wasting Words: How Louis C.K. Can Make You a Better Writer

I admit it. I am a recovering “limited vocabulary” addict. Out of the hundreds of thousands of words in the English language, I insisted upon using a particular one over and over again as a part of my everyday vernacular: awesome I used it to describe everything. Grandma’s coming to visit. “Awesome!” We found your […]

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The Classy Potty Mouth

Whack! The rolled-up newspaper smacked against the top of my KangaROOS sneakers and stung through to my toes. Just enough to make my eyes water. The 12-year-old boy grinned diabolically as he dropped the newspaper bat into my lap. I was supposed to say “Elephant” before he hit my feet with the newspaper. Simple enough. […]

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Superman is Full of Crap

When I was six, Strawberry Shortcake was my perpetual hero and the personification of all that was good in life. By day, she kicked the Purple Pie Man’s ass. By night, she slept on my pillow, infusing the air with the most delicious faux-strawberry aroma you could ever imagine. Every morning, I would brush her […]

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I Wish You Nothing But the Best As You Take Over the World

Dear World Domination Summit, We need to talk. I love you. Deeply. Every time I am around you, I return a better human being. The speakers on your stage are always phenomenal. The values that you stand for are inspiring. Adventure. Service. Community. Check. Check. Check. The city where you live, Portland, is delightfully eccentric. […]

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